I find myself unaware. Had been having opportunities to be in three different countries and cultures for almost equally long period of time, you would think that I would be very well informed and wildly knowledgeable. However, the reality is not.
There are things one recognize as information and one don’t. I guess you could say that because the hierarchy of which the information priority changes.
When I was in China, during the first nine years of my life, I was a bookworm. I read, read and read. Simply because Chinese was my first language and I loved to read. I absorbed information as I was being given anyway possible. Couch and a book was my weekend ritual. It was natural.
After I moved to Japan with my parents until I finished high school I still read, just not as much or often as I used to. Japanese was my second language but I didn’t have problem communicating. I had perfect Japanese. However then, academic and social activities became more important. Blending into the society which you ‘belongs to’ was an important part of Japanese culture. Had have experienced bully in 3rd and 4th grades, I wasn’t going to let myself fail off of the ‘normal’ category for the second time. I paid more attention in fashion, trend, and current entertainment to be able to keep up the conversation at school. Occasionally I read at home for hours, however, the 15 minutes one way train commute to school was my majority of time for the books and homework sometimes.
In college, the readings I did were 95% text books, or articles used in the class. Spending hours starring back and forth at sentences and dictionary just to understand the content in the text books was exhausting. English as third language didn’t inspired me enough to keep reading. Reading in English was exhausting and boring. It was more fun using English to converse with friends or watch movies. Reading on my own was no longer something I was interested in. On the other hand, designing was a lot more interesting and fun. Creating non-literal communication was fun.
Then I realized; I wasn’t reading any more.
Now being at DMI, I have been forced to read since the last semester. I have to confess, that I hadn’t been reading in a very long time. Because of the heavy load of readings, I found myself eased while reading. My English improved tremendously and reading is not timely torture any more. Though if I want to read something thoroughly and understand it completely, I still need occasional dictionary help. Well, I’m not perfect trilingual after all.
I am though, very grateful for my situation despite there are more than enough publications for me to read from three different languages. It was extremely time and energy consuming to perfect each language. Especially in English where I couldn’t separate grammar that I learned in Japan from sentences I hear naturally. I was overly annoyed that I couldn’t just “memorize” it in my head and repeat and use it simply by the sounds I hear from native English speakers. I guess that is the result of getting older; one gets duller to the natural instinct every time the brain learns something technical. It’s just my observation.
So far, I am happy with who and what I am. And I am certainly glad to recognize this problem I had, and by that I am going to fix it by start read more. I am forever refuse to be an English-book-phobia.